“…he jus make noise”

Lately, Riley has been getting more and more vocal. There are lots of grunts and this morning he was making this wheezing/choking noise that was freaking me out because it sounded like he couldn’t breath, but he was doing it just for fun. Wednesday, Robin said “Hey darling” and he mimicked her almost exactly. After that she said “I love you” and he mimicked that exactly, though he has been saying “I lub” for a while. Mostly though, he shows few signs of being concerned with actually verbally expressing himself to people other than us. Right before Thanksgiving he was on the phone with his two-year-old cousin and after we hung up his grandmother asked his cousin what Riley said. Kaylee responded with "Ummmm, he didn't say anything, he jus make noise." That is all Riley ever does when a phone is thrust towards him. He excitedly screams out exclamations from his diaphragm. He says dada and mama all the time and his comprehension is really good. He stops doing whatever dangerous thing he is doing when we say no, gives kisses when they are asked for (and he is willing), and hugs you when you say I love you.

A few weeks ago our pastor sited some study by some important institution that followed second grade girls and boys around the playground. The girls communicated with perfect intonation and grammar in complete sentences. The boys apparently used 20% English and 80% engine/explosion/gun noises to communicate in play. For now, this is consistent with Riley but I seriously doubt that this will continue into 2nd grade. Have you ever been skeptical about sermon illustrations? I am positive that most bible colleges have a SERMON ILLUSTRATION EXAGERATION 301 class that is officially on the course list as CREATIVE WRITING 301. The creative pastors are able to take things they see their kids do and change a few facts to nicely summarize their point and wrap the sermon up in a nice little bow. Come on pastor, we all know your little monster and doubt that he took his finger out of his nose and stopped screaming long enough to put the world into perspective. The not-so creative pastors just use email forwards. It is not really lying, just exaggeration.

It may be true that girls are smarter than boys. Another thing that Riley has been doing is forgoing kisses, and just giving headbutts. He tilts his head slightly forward and rams it into yours. He finds this hilarious. The funny thing about this is that when Riley was 2 weeks old, they ran a news story about horrible parents allowing five-year-olds to compete in ultimate fighting/mixed martial arts competitions. I told my brother-in-law that I was starting training immediately. Now instead of “give dada a kiss,” I say “what do you do if you are grappling and you get tied up by your opponent.” BONK. “That’s right, give dada a headbutt,” I say.

-scott